Friday, April 15, 2011

Auditing pickup lines

10) Why don't we go back to my place, and I'll let you audit my staff.
9) Wanna sneak out behind the 'hedge' and play with my financial instrument?
8) If I had you, I wouldn't need to use my Handbook.
7) I think we should swap some liquid assets.
6) Take me home tonight, and I guarantee you'll see an extraordinary item.
5) I've been in public practice for several years, and that's easily the largest endowment I've ever seen.
4) Nice 'boot'. Wanna PUC?
3) I'd do just about anything to see your GAAP.
2) Can I put my substance all over your form?
and the #1 worst accounting pick-up line is...
1) So, how do you feel about things in arrears?

Other Notables
"Can we get back together next year for a review engagement?"
"I'm gonna have to make some adjustments to your bottom line."
"Maybe we should go back to your place so you can show me some inside information about your firm structure."
"I think we should introduce a 3rd party to evaluate our standing position."
"If we had a meeting, we wouldn't take 'minutes', we'd take hours!"

"If we get together, I won't have to WACC anymore."
"Trust me, I'm an accountant, I know how to manipulate firm assets."
"I'm so big, you'll consider it at least an arm's length transaction."
"Just because I only have a minority interest, doesn't mean we shouldn't integrate and do a rollover."
"If your sister joined us, we could have one hell of a related party!"
"Your friends should join us so that I could have some comparative figures to manipulate."
"Girl, you meet ALL my criteria, so you better believe I'm gonna capitalize!"
"Take me home, I'm 'assure' thing!"
"Who's your auditor?!?! Who's your auditor?!?!"

(Source unknown)

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