Frozen: A Review (satire)

Or "Why my daughters are now lesbians."

I read that Frozen had a “gay agenda” (whatever that means) and that the movie could possibly “indoctrinate my 5-year-old to be a lesbian.”  I admit I was skeptical, especially since the guy issuing the warning hadn’t even seen themovie.

How, exactly, would he know?  Maybe God whispers in his ear?

Nah.  Couldn’t be.

So I went ahead and watched the movie with my girls, reckless heathen that I am.  And you know what?  Afterward, my 8-year-old turns to me and says, “Mommy, when I grow up I want to marry a girl.”  I asked her why.  She said, “Because Elsa’s going to marry a girl someday, so I want to marry a girl.”

I turned to my 10-year-old, who said, “Me too.  I want to grow up to be a lesbian.”

Well, wouldn’t you know!  The movie did indoctrinate my children to be gay!  And right under my nose, too!

...

What do I do now?